So lately Samantha and I just can't seem to get along! No matter what I say to her she either whines, yells, stomps off, or plops down on the floor and kicks! Her latest show was at a friends house after a birthday party. It was 6:00 and time to come home but not all of the parents had shown up to get their kids. I told her she had 5 more min and then it was time to go. Time up. Time to go, so what does she do.....get mad! she yells and cries and stomps off. I was completely embarrassed. It looked like I had no control of her and at that moment I didn't! Finally I grabbed her harm and drug her to her shoes. Probably not the best idea but my frustration was getting the best of me. I have sent her to her room and all she does is yell and scream and throw things. I have sat her on the couch with her arms folded. I have taken things away. I have grounded her but that doesn't really work when they really don't get to play during the week because of homework. When it comes to screaming I have popped her in the mouth but then she just looks at me like I am this horrible abusive person. She has gotten more and more mouthy and she's even mouthier with the boys. Of course the boys aren't any better with her! I just feel like I am loosing control of my family. I feel like this horrible mother. We would never have treated my mom that way! We had our tantrums but nothing like this! How do you deal with it in public? How do you deal with it at home with out the neighbors wondering what in the world is going on? So then today We got home from my friends house and I was working on fixing dinner I told her and the boys to get the clean clothes and put them away! You'd think that I was the wicked mom and that she was Cinderella! (you know the Cinderella that has to do ALL the cleaning while the wicked brothers do nothing) The boys are much faster than her and so then she cries and says it will take her FOREVER and it's not fair! Have you ever just wanted to go in another room and yell? That has been me lately! I don't ever remember my mom wanting to walk away!
REWARD : All my LOVE and GRATITUDE! And maybe some chocolate arriving in the mail!
10 comments:
Oh man, I am so sorry! I know Jessie is so much younger but she can throw a fit with the best of em. It's piercing really! I think it's a girl thing. Although, I don't have boys to compare with, it's just what I've been told.
I remember Kim throwing complete tantrums IN THE MALL and my mom and I totally walking away from her while she kicked and screamed (on the ground)! Now she LOVES going to the mall...right Kim?
Hang in there. You're doing GREAT!
Tantrums are so tough. I learned once that kids only throw tantrums when they know they are being watched. So, walk away. Be calm. Don't pay attention to it. Ignore it the best you can. It might get worse before it gets better, but giving her attention is really what she wants. Let her know (when she's not in the middle of a tantrum) that that sort of behavior won't get her what she wants, and then stick to your guns. When you are in public, you can calmly take her to the car or outside and let her scream it out. But try your hardest not to react to it because it will just fuel her on. It is hard, but hang in there! And don't feel bad. Every mother in the world has wanted to go in another room and yell!
I agree Jen, Chase is my tantrum thrower! I had him screaming at me and a neighbor a few weeks ago. A couple of the kids got in trouble and she had come over to make sure he had told me what happened and Chase came outside and started yelling that she was lieing and yelled at both of us. Yeah, I started crying, I felt so stupid! After I finally calmed down and got him to calm down, I made him go tell the neighbor sorry. Most of the time I don't know what to do with him. I think it is the age, but sometimes I'm not so sure. I just keep with the rules and don't give in.
Keep it up, I know you are a good mom! Miss you guys. Hope to see you soon.
I may not be of much usefull help, all I have to show for kids is a 3 year old labrador. To be honest your kinda scaring me. I don't know if I want kids now. Tell you what when you find out what actually works you should throw those tips my way cause you know I will be needed them. I have some Nieces that I have to deal with time to time and I am pretty sure they are worse than your kids. Also my wife who teaches first grade had a kid pull down his pants and flash her because he was mad. See there are worse children lol. Hope your day goes better.
A couple of years ago, I found this incredible program called "You can do this-an approach to raising wonderful children" about positive parenting. It's from BYU and we've tried to impliment the techniques one by one, just a little at a time over the past few years. I make Dan read it with me from time to time at night before we go to bed so we're both on the same page. It has a lot of information, but it has made a big difference for us. Check if out if you'd like: education.byu.edu/youcandothis/
Hope that helps! You're not alone!!
Let me know when you figure out a solution. Carter was sent to the office at school the other day because he punched a boy in the stomach. When asked why he would do that he said "I just wanted him to feel as bad as I do." So according to him if someone makes fun of him as kids do with every breath he will pop them one so they will feel bad too. He and I are like water and oil lately and I'm feeling like things are spiraling out of control. I am trying not to yell, and keep a calm tone to my voice, but he pushes me over the edge everytime. My patience can only go so far. I have cried and prayed and cried and yelled and cried some more. Parenting is my greatest blessing and my biggest challenge.
Oh how we love being moms....this is why I'm done having babies. 2 boys is about all I can handle..
Ahhh, reading all these posts just make me feel so much better! So, I'm not that only mother who has to deal with tantrums? All I can say is "ditto" to what everyone else has said..., and just hope I can follow the advice once in awhile! I think you are a great mother and doing a wonderful job.
I think it is a girly thing. I haven't come up with many solutions of my own. You just need to let her know that you love her and that kind of behavior is not acceptable. Keep up with the discipline no matter how hard it gets, if you give in she will know that you are not going to follow through on anything. You are doing a great job. You are a great mom.
Maybe you should give her a run for her money. Throw a bigger tantrum to out-do hers. Scream and kick and yell on the floor. You might want to warn your friends first. hA ha!
She'll be so embarrassed, she might just walk away realizing how stupid she looks!
What do I know? I have boys. They can pull some pretty big tantrums too.
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